Who the hell do you think you are?
It is obvious you are working some strange angle, though I haven’t figured out exactly what outcome you are hoping for. You are diabolical in your work, I almost appreciate the effort. Making me believe my hair looks fabulous and makeup is flawless only to find, once I saw the truth in a random reflected surface outside my home, that my hair looks flat and sticking out on one side and my face looks splotchy not to mention the lip gloss and liner I chose is so close to my own skin tone that it doesn’t even look like I’m wearing any.
So, without further ado…I am on to you and your shenanigans. In fact, this weekend I aim to pick up a small mirror to place by my front door so I can get a true look before I take that final step outside of your web of evilness.
I have also decided not to clean or even wipe the lint off your surface as punishment, for at least 2 weeks. It will increase if you continue, in fact I will employ further means of dealing with you, which I am sure you would not find …. comfortable.
That’s all I have to say to you for now.
Life Notes 
Mirrors are evil. The one in my dressing room adds 20 pounds and the one in the bathroom makes me look my age. Humbug.
humbug indeed!