A few months ago I joined a fun little meetup group called Geek Girls. It’s a bunch of women who love to game, and just totally geek out on nerdy kinds of things which is right up my ally.
When I was a teenager I went with my older brother to play Dungeons and Dragons with he and his friends. It is a time in my life I treasure immensely. So… I joined the Pathfinders group in Geek Girls when they set up a game for beginners – since it’s been over 25 years since I’ve played, this seemed appropriate.
The group consists of two co-dungeon masters – both women in their early 20’s, six other women are players with me, all of which are a good 10 years younger. At first I didn’t think much of it but since turning 40 I can’t help but notice the age gap.
I should probably look at this as a huge compliment that these young women don’t see me as an old girl or feel like they playing a game with mom and have said so, that the age gap isn’t apparent to them. That’s a good thing right?
Last night one of the dm’s had a party so our significant others/husbands could all meet and we could socialize since the women are all having so much fun together at the game. It was a fun night to be sure, but I had a thought coming home. Is it a good thing to fit in with women (and now their young husbands) who are so junior to me that I could conceivably be their mother? (most are in their early 20s’) Or… am I faltering in what should be my path to growing into a mature woman? Perhaps it is that I haven’t had children and am just recently married where a large majority of women my age are moving into empty nesting and becoming grandmothers.
Is it a fail to be 40 and not feel matronly or be seen as such by people an entire generation my junior?
I’m having the reverse of a midlife crisis. Happy with where my life is at this time, still having fun and enjoying moments of existence, happily married, adventures always around the corner and the gypsy side of my personality being indulged by not sitting in the same place for very long. Health is improving and I’m getting my figure back.
True I wish my boobs were the perky, full amazingness they were 20 years ago but that’s not the end of the world is it? My eyesight is steadily getting worse and I’ll likely be partially blind in my old age but as of now I am enjoying the fun, spunky look my new glasses give me and the slight retro edge of them works well with my newish hair. There are a few wrinkles and I started having silver hairs making an appearance but neither really bother me much. In fact, I feel each has been fully earned by the years leading up to this point.
Another thought, I likely don’t dress as appropriately as I should for my age. My daily casual attire consists of shorts and a tank/tshirt, cargo pants/jeans unless we are dressing up to go out. Do most women in their 40’s wear slacks and blouses – even at home or is that just in the movies and soap operas ?
Am I missing something? Are there other women out there who don’t follow the convention of the aging process or the layout “normally” taken by women or has the layout completely changed or been completely thrown out?
- 0-18 – fun, emotional, angsty, testing boundaries
- 19-30 – finding your niche in the world, family-education-job, marriage
- 31-40 – Motherhood, career
- 41-50 – Send kids out into the world, re-evaluate life, mid-life crisis potential, Grandmother, start looking at retirement plans.
That is how it should be right? Have I missed the boat completely?
More importantly, will I get to the end of my life and feel as if I haven’t accomplished anything or left my mark on this world in the current path I’m on? Should I take up more age appropriate hobbies or something similar to fill a hole that is probably there but I just don’t see it yet?
If it were in the Victorian era I wonder if society would very much frown on my lifestyle. Not that it matters obviously, but just a random curiosity there.