When we were in school we had sex ed forced on us, I say forced because my Catholic High School had to provide it even though they were strongly against a lot of the information that was being given, such as using condoms. We learned the different methods of not getting pregnant and the absolute horrors of consequences (eye roll) if we did.
In my teen years I also learned a bit about puberty, female and male versions. Just peers and mean girl stuff mostly. Shows and movies we watched as teens also addressed it.
So, I bumbled through adolescence like most probably, figuring it out along the way. Had my embarrassing moments of not realizing my pad was showing while wearing shorts and leakage, like a lot of girls probably. What I was blessed with was not a lot of pms symptoms. My entire adult life has been fairly easy in that regard except for the odd month.
What was never discussed by teachers, doctors, gyn, and until I asked my mother, her either, was perimenopause. I knew menopause was a thing that happened when women got older, grandma age, and it meant no more periods and no more pregnancy, I was actually looking forward to it. I knew from media that hot flashes and night sweats were part of it but I could handle that for a bit.
What I didn’t know was all of the other symptoms and complications that came along with it, nor did I know how long it could last. A few years ago my periods started going off schedule, I was having trouble staying asleep and my emotions were getting a little weird. I figured it was stress with moving, Covid anxiety, grief, etc. I went to a gyn appt and she asked the normal “when was your last cycle?” so I mentioned it’s been off a bit and she said lets do a blood test and see how your hormones are doing. What? Well, yes, late 40’s it’s very likely perimenopause. Peri what?
So, I started the deep dive and come to find out there’s a lot more to menopause than I thought.
- It starts a lot sooner than I thought. I was already going low on hormone levels, well in to the process and it explained a lot of my roller coaster emotions and increasing lack of tolerance. Peri starts for most women in their 40’s but some as early as their 30’s.
- Peri is the process of going into menopause and it can last up to 10 years. Only after going a full year of no cycles do we go into menopause stage. Every time I miss one we start the clock.
- Peri symptoms chart is expansive. A LOT of symptoms can come up. Not just hot sweats. There’s possible changes to skin (check), hair (check), fatigue (check), mental clarity/brain fog (check, check), mood swings (CHECK), sleep issues (check), hot flashes/night sweats (not really but definitely get warm sometimes), and so much more.
- Symptoms don’t necessarily stop when you reach menopause. In fact, more may come in to play.
- Menopause/Post Menopause is the rest of our life. This is the final phase of woman, basically. There’s nothing else, there’s no absolute end to it, well death but yeh.
- Up until the early 19th Century women didn’t typically live long enough to enter this phase. Life expectancy was about 40. Any woman who lived long enough to start having symptoms was considered going crazy and put away.
- Perimenopause is basically puberty in reverse. So, if we think back to puberty and compare, it’s a lot of the same symptoms. Puberty was hormone explosion, Peri is hormone death… my analogy of it anyway.
I guess my point is, lets talk about this! There’s no reason women need to go into this phase of life completely oblivious to what’s coming. It’s been a hushed subject for some reason and probably a big uncomfortable thing for men to hear but really, men need to know this too! Your wife/so/sister/etc isn’t necessarily going bonkers, she’s likely in perimenopause if she’s over 40 and there are ways to make it better/easier to manage.
Life Notes 