There I was on my wedding day but it wasn’t the wedding I actually had, this time we were having a huge wedding at some big artsy building, and when I say huge I mean there were people standing in line down the block to get in and the building could have held Congress. I was running around seeing to things, people were lined up and I was searching for something, just then I ran into Jon Bon Jovi who was kind enough to come to it and we hugged and exchanged a quick kiss that bespoke of a long and great friendship =P. Because, you know I have friends like that. There were a couple of other celebrities inside already.
I start heading back but decided to search out a restroom before the big wedding ceremony but couldn’t find one in this enormous building. I did however, find some people in an office (in the building, apparently it was a work day) and was given directions to another building for the restroom. Odd they don’t have a restroom in this huge place, but ok. Run to the building, hearing someone pointing out Jon (I can call him that because we are great friends) in the first building on a sound system and I think poor guy, he can’t even go to a wedding without the spotlight turning to him. I get close to the building and see a small window close to the ground where people are dropping their phones, so I follow suit, must be some security thing. There’s a strange amusement park kind of entrance slide to the left of this window, complete with dirt floor – reminded me of an Indiana Jones movie..whatever..I need to pee. I slide down (somehow the white wedding dress has changed to pants and t-shirt) with dust following me and roots coming out of the walls of the slide.
Landing! I’m in some strange laboratory but it’s familiar. The crazy looking doctor (whom I know somehow and had done a test on me before but reminds me of a Nazi concentration camp crazy doctor I’ve seen in some war movie at some point) says he needs one more test. Takes my hand and starts clipping off the cuticle on my middle finger then says this one will hurt more and starts putting a needle under my skin at the nail where the cuticle was.
I must have blacked out, I wake up (still in his lab) on a small hospital type bed and now I’m Rainn Wilson and this crazy doctor has amputated both of my arms and both legs. The legs look like bone in ham you get at the store.
I yell at him “What have you done!” “WHY!?!” and he just smirks and says “What can you do about it? Look at you. You can do nothing”
Welcome to my REM world. =D
photos have been linked to their sources. If anyone uses this story to create a movie/script/book/etc I want royalties and recognition. =D