The well feels dry… for commenting on other blogs and even on posting on my own.
Life is still happening, things are going well, having fun in Japan and enjoying my husband immensely. No immediate complaints really. Sure, there are things in the reserves that still pick at my nerves regarding my family mostly but none of it is really prevalent in my life at this time. I certainly don’t dwell on any of it and in fact I have removed myself from most of it almost entirely…physically and emotionally.
I hold back from getting too personal on here, mostly because it’s public isn’t it and while I am fairly sure none of my family follows me I still feel like it would be airing dirty laundry really. Add to that, I’m trying to keep the blog upbeat and positive so diving into those waters would certainly stink up things. This echos my personality a bit actually. I’ve been accused of not opening up to people easily which is one reason I went into blogging with the perspective of it more as a diary then others actually reading it but I can’t seem to get passed the others reading it part enough to divulge the ranting and raving that is lurking and perhaps almost ready to escape.
As with my previous post, I seem to be reviewing my life a bit for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the whole…OMG I’m 40 thing or could be that it just feels strange sometimes to feel so happy and content with where my life is at this moment that I feel the need to dredge up the things that sit in reserve that eventually I probably will need to deal with. Either internally or with those it involves.
If the hidden issues continue to refuse to go back into the reserve bucket I may need to create a blog under a false name to air it all out, that should be fun. Oh look, I came up with a bit of sarcasm there…maybe I’m on the right track with this.
With regards to the spiritual renovation I am hoping to emerge from Japan with, it is perhaps the right path to find an outlet (other than my poor husband’s ears) with which to air thoughts I’ve held mostly to myself. Many would probably say holding things in is not healthy so perhaps it is time to consider a vent blog that may reach epic proportions, or at least release a tidal wave of crap I’ve been harboring for far too long and adding to with a dirty shovel for years.
Life Notes 
I did create a blog separate from my regular blog, an anonymous blog that I used to write stories that can only be termed as therapeutic. I let out a lot of bile and emotion in the short stories/poetry that I published there. It was good. People seemed to really like what I wrote also, maybe because of the passion that came out from dredging my soul. When Multiply, the site where both blogs existed, closed down, I combined my names from each of those blogs to create my WP blog. Funny thing is that I can’t seem to find my muse yet here.
With an anonymous blog, is it searchable by the person’s email or such? Just want to make sure if I do let it all hang out that it really is anonymous or maybe I should just start a completely separate account with a new email that nobody knows?
By the way, if you haven’t found a muse yet I will be on pins and needles to see what you post when you do find it. Your blog is a great read.
Awww, shucks, thanks.
I would say go totally anonymous, including an anonymous email. But that is just my opinion.
Be careful. If you are not comfortable with something you write, don’t make it public. Back in the early days of blogging for me, I treated my blog like a diary and a bit like a playground, a place where the boy inside could come out. My wife tracked the blog because I just wasn’t all that savvy. We ended up in counseling over it.
Thanks for the cautionary advice. I’ll definitely go fully anonymous. Nothing I think or would write would compromise my relationship with my husband, he hears it all first. haha And truly, he is the only one I would really worry about offending or upsetting. I just don’t need to invite it over unnecessarily from those I will rant about, if that makes sense. Some of it will be ranting about myself tbh.
Thanks for the tips!
Yes, go anonymous. When I tap out, I will normally do something physically intensive or a hobby I have not engaged in some time. That helps.
Actually, I started reading a book, which I haven’t done much of since moving to Japan. Maybe that will help. Thanks for the tips.