The well feels dry… for commenting on other blogs and even on posting on my own.
Life is still happening, things are going well, having fun in Japan and enjoying my husband immensely. No immediate complaints really. Sure, there are things in the reserves that still pick at my nerves regarding my family mostly but none of it is really prevalent in my life at this time. I certainly don’t dwell on any of it and in fact I have removed myself from most of it almost entirely…physically and emotionally.
I hold back from getting too personal on here, mostly because it’s public isn’t it and while I am fairly sure none of my family follows me I still feel like it would be airing dirty laundry really. Add to that, I’m trying to keep the blog upbeat and positive so diving into those waters would certainly stink up things. This echos my personality a bit actually. I’ve been accused of not opening up to people easily which is one reason I went into blogging with the perspective of it more as a diary then others actually reading it but I can’t seem to get passed the others reading it part enough to divulge the ranting and raving that is lurking and perhaps almost ready to escape.
As with my previous post, I seem to be reviewing my life a bit for whatever reason. Maybe it’s the whole…OMG I’m 40 thing or could be that it just feels strange sometimes to feel so happy and content with where my life is at this moment that I feel the need to dredge up the things that sit in reserve that eventually I probably will need to deal with. Either internally or with those it involves.
If the hidden issues continue to refuse to go back into the reserve bucket I may need to create a blog under a false name to air it all out, that should be fun. Oh look, I came up with a bit of sarcasm there…maybe I’m on the right track with this.
With regards to the spiritual renovation I am hoping to emerge from Japan with, it is perhaps the right path to find an outlet (other than my poor husband’s ears) with which to air thoughts I’ve held mostly to myself. Many would probably say holding things in is not healthy so perhaps it is time to consider a vent blog that may reach epic proportions, or at least release a tidal wave of crap I’ve been harboring for far too long and adding to with a dirty shovel for years.