Annual Evaluation – Internal Spring Cleaning

On May 1st, 2014 it will officially be one year at this job, definitely doesn’t feel like it has been that long most of the time.

Mostly, I very much like the job and the coworkers and the boss-lady.  Mostly, I truly enjoy the actual work and the people we interact with daily.  The hours and pay are great, really can’t complain at all about either.  The work environment is pretty good, though I wish the base supported it a bit more with cleanliness but cut backs ya know.

The boss-lady asked me to think about what I have excelled in, what I can improve on for my annual evaluation next week.  This is the first job in a VERY long time that I have been on such a schedule with clocking in and out every day, submitting time sheets and doing evaluations.  Previous jobs were more relaxed but being this is a contract they have to be very exact about things I suppose.

What do I excel in?   This is so hard for me to determine…I don’t like analyzing myself and more than that I have a difficult time complimenting myself so finding anything I excel in is difficult for me to admit.  Everything can be improved on.  What’s the right answer to this question really?

What can I improve on?  Attention to detail.  It is a sad truth that the one thing I used to have mad skills in was attention to detail and focus yet this is now the one thing I need to work on.  What happened to my skill?  A previous employer killed it.  I was micro-managed to the point of it creating self-doubt and losing all of my self-confidence.  Everything I did was done correctly but it was not done as she or he would do it so had to be altered.  Since then my brain seems to have taken leave.  My memory has taken a hit, my organization has taken a big dump and my attention to detail suffered an untimely demise.

Somehow I need to resurrect these parts of myself and breathe new life into my working self or I may not get a great reference from my current employer when it’s time to leave.  I’m not so concerned about being fired because it’s a contract position and would take a big deal I think to be let go, maybe this is part of my psychological issue of not focusing as much as I should be.

There remains pride in my work which makes me believe I can regain the work skills that were stripped away.  When I make a mistake it hits hard and often will take some time for me to accept that I blew it.

Time to re-focus and give this job the energy it deserves.


Time to give myself the energy and focus I deserve too.  I had goals when we moved here and have not moved towards them.  Learning Japanese, finding a hobby I enjoy that has nothing to do with anyone else, studying Shinto, meditation, keeping house better (its not a wreck but I could be better at this), reading more.  It’s time to get motivated for these and for getting the lazy hermit tendencies out of my world.

My personal weakness is lack of follow through.  Time to put ideas into action and see them through.

The Result of Scoffing at My Cold

Well, I put my cold on the back burner to try to enjoy the holidays (I’ll do a post on our New Year celebrations soon) per my previous post and the following was the result:

Bronchitis – oh yes, the hacking, vile, disgusting, mucus-filled coughs that at one point had me vomiting and at other points had me pissing my pants.  Yes, I admit it.  It’s funny now, then it was not so funny.

I visited the doctor this morning and got my antibiotics so hoping this will clear up very quickly.  Took tomorrow off from work for the coughing to go away then back to the grind Wednesday.  Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be back to my old sarcastic, silly self.

When this clears up I will:

1.  Get back in the gym and hit it hard, my goal is another 30 pounds off in 2014 and the short term goal of fitting in one of my dresses again by April which is when our Submarine Ball kicks off.

B.  Get the house in order and start a daily habit of cleaning up more.

3.  Daily quiet time, hopefully becoming meditation hour.

d.  Cut Carbs a LOT and get a better grip on the sweets.

5.  Clear out the clutter and finish the guest room.

These are NOT resolutions, these are ongoing goals that I’m working on.  Being sick this past month has simply made it so it’s about the same time that I am reaffirming my goals.  I don’t like the new year’s resolutions, they seem to be doomed from the start.

Well then, Happy New Year to you and may 2014 serve you well.